I Might Just Love You More Than I Love Hamburgers
by TheRockNRollBeauty
Summary: Russia takes America on a dinner date. But Alfred's insecurities have been riled, and his messed up body image may need an ego boost. Pointless fluff with weight conscious!America to interrupt my angst-fest.


**POINTLESS FLUFF TO EVEN OUT MY HORRIBLY ANGSTY STORIES LATELY. /throws confetti**

**Enjoy? I guess….**

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><p>It had been so long since Ivan had taken his lover onto a date, and, quite frankly, Ivan was thrilled. He had spent the weeks leading up to the world conference in America's capitol searching for the <em>perfect<em> restaurant to take Alfred to.

Ivan knew that if there was one way to butter up his lover, it would be through food. Alfred was like a pet dog sometimes: if you fed him, then he would unashamedly love and dote on you forever. And although a dozen dollar menu meals at McDonald's may have sufficed, Ivan had chosen instead to treat his sunflower to something special.

However, his darling seemed slightly less enthused.

Ivan noticed, with understandable surprise, that Alfred had not touched his menu. In fact, the American was keeping his hands folded on his lap, head bowed slightly.

"Fredka?" Ivan questioned. Alfred answered him with a slight bop of the head and a noncommittal grunt.

"Fredka_—_ " Ivan reached over the table and did the one thing that would always garner Alfred's attention. Ivan took that stubborn strand of hair, which the American affectionately referred to as "Nantucket," on Alfred's head and gave it a gentle tug. Alfred immediately shivered and looked up, blush creeping across his face.

"What_—_ d-don't do that!" He shifted backwards, pulling the hair out of Ivan's fingers. The Russian merely smiled.

"I do not like it when you are ignoring me, Fredka. I have taken the time to bring you out to a nice restaurant, I have offered to pay for your meal. I believe I may deserve your attention, however hard I know it is for you to keep focus."

Alfred opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted as the smartly-dressed waiter came to the table asking for drink selections. Ivan quickly picked out a random wine after seeing the restaurant did not serve vodka, and turned to America, expecting the boy to order a Coke or one of his other bubbly drinks, but Alfred had turned his head back to his lap. So Ivan sighed and ordered a water for the noncompliant American.

Once the waiter was out of earshot, Alfred raised his head, and Ivan noticed a dust of red on his cheeks.

"Why do you always do that?" Alfred's voice was bordering on a whine.

"Do what, little one?"

"You_—_ you_—_ you're always making fun of me."

"I am merely teasing you a little, Fredka. You are adorable when you are so flustered."

Alfred mumbled in disagreement. Ivan frowned. Something was bothering his darling, and it frustrated Ivan that the first date they had had in two months was going so awkwardly.

Hoping to distract America from whatever was bothering him, Ivan pushed the menu closer towards him. Perhaps the thought of food would lift Fredka's spirits.

"Order something, _dorogoy_. You may choose whatever you like."

To his utter shock, Alfred shook his head. Ivan felt numb. He had _never_ seen Alfred turned down the prospect of a meal.

"N-no, I'm fine."

Recovering from the American's dumbfounding refusal, Ivan peered at his own menu. Perhaps Alfred was not just as hungry as normal? That was strange, but Ivan supposed that it was fine.

"Then little Alfred, I will simply order something for us to share."

"No, I'm serious. I don't want anything."

Ivan felt his frustration mounting. He folded the menu and looked back towards America.

"You are acting ridiculous Fredka. It is terrible manners of you to not order anything after I went through all of the trouble. I know you are hungry, you are never _not_ hungry. Please do not be so petulant."

Alfred looked up at the word, assuming from Ivan's tone that "petulant" meant something bad. His brows creased.

"Why are you always doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"You're always insulting me, making fun of me_—_ "

"Fredka, it is only teasing_—_ "

"No it isn't! You're always mocking me, making fun of the way I look, the stuff I like, you even make fun of capitalism, even though you're capitalist now too_—_ "

"Lower your voice, Fredka, it is not polite_—_ "

"_—_ and last night, you even called me fat!" Alfred finished, biting his lip, eyes bright.

"W-what?" Ivan stuttered. He knew how sensitive Alfred was about his weight, and Ivan had been sure to never take his teasing into that territory. He couldn't remember ever calling Alfred fat, at least since the end of the Cold War.

"When did I call you fat?" Alfred looked miffed, as if he was annoyed that Ivan did not remember something so trivial.

"Don't play dumb, Commie, " Ivan winced at the insult, "Last night! When I jumped on the bed in our hotel room."

Ivan vaguely, _vaguely _remembered Alfred flopping on the bed of their shared hotel room to watch some of his late night cartoons.

"And?"

"You said if I did that anymore, I would break the bed!" Alfred crossed his arms and screwed his face up further into a pout.

Ivan put his own face in his hands, sighing in frustration. After a moment he folded his hands under his chin and cocks his head to the side.

"You are behaving like child."

_Oh no_. Ivan knew he shouldn't have said that the moment the words passed his mouth, but before he can begin to retract them Alfred turned, face twisted even further into a pout, pointing a finger at the Russian.

"Oh yeah? So I'm childish, huh? Well if I'm so fat and childish, then why the hell are you going out with me?"

Ivan could barely suppress a groan of frustration at the question. This was ridiculous. Ivan was not going to get into a fight with his _dorogoy_ over a silly, off-handed comment that had meant nothing. It was not his fault that the American had a faulty body image. Alfred had nothing more than a slight roundness of hips, which Ivan found adorable regardless.

But apparently Alfred had been hurt by Ivan's words. For a world superpower, he was extremely sensitive regarding certain topics.

Before Ivan risked being banished from their hotel bed tonight to the uncomfortable armchair or worse, _the floor_, he decided to simply bypass arguing further with the American and go straight to making up with him.

Ivan forced a small smile into his exasperated expression and reached across the table to touch Alfred's hand, which was immediately pulled away. Nevertheless, Ivan continued.

"Can I prove it to you that I love you, and that I do not believe you are fat, Fredka?"

Alfred fidgeted in his seat, worrying his lip as if he was seriously considering the question.

"Fine. Prove it."

There was a sudden screech of chair as Ivan rose, and before Alfred could blink Ivan had leaned over the table, seizing both sides of Alfred's head in his hands and placing a wet kiss onto his lips. Ivan used Alfred surprise to dip in deeper, sliding past Alfred's teeth and lapping around his mouth.

Despite the fact that they were both in public and were no doubt being stared at by the other guests in the restaurant, Alfred found himself melt back into Ivan's mouth, even letting a slow moan out as Ivan sucked and bit at his lip before pulling away.

Ivan chuckled at the attractive blush that overwhelmed Alfred's face. He patted the top of his head and pecked him once more of the nose.

"Is that sufficient, _solnyshko_?"

Alfred gave a brief nod, mouth still open, a string of saliva trailing down his mouth. Ivan laughed quietly and wiped it away with a thumb.

"I guess I believe you." Alfred muttered, drawing back and rubbing at his mouth. He unfolded the menu and attempted to hide his blushing, embarrassed face into it.

"Do you think they have any burgers here?"

Ivan smiled, reached over and touched Nantucket again, light strokes causing Alfred to shiver and further bury his head into the entree section. Ivan smirked and gave the piece of hair a light tug.

"I am sure that they do, Fredka." Ivan had made sure to check the restaurant's menu and confirm that they offered America's favorite greasy "delicacies."

"And I can order whatever I want?"

Ivan's smile widened as he dipped a hand under the table and traveled to rest on Alfred's thigh, lightly stroking it.

"You may order the finest burgers that they have."

Alfred blushed up to his ears, but did not fidget away from Ivan's touch.

"Alright. Awesome. Aw sweet! Look at the desserts they got here__—_ _"

Finally, one of Alfred's hands slipped away from the menu and down under the table, settling on Ivan's, which was still rubbing his thigh.

Ivan saw a touch of a smile appear on his Fredka's face, and finally felt the comforting warmth he had been craving wash over him.

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><p><strong>I like it when these two just do normal, cute couple things together. I mean, I love all the Cold War angst and crazy AUs but every once and awhile we all just need something cute. <strong>

**Also, does anyone else have a kink for Nantucket? 'Cause I sure do. **


End file.
